My cousin is expecting a baby and I’m pretty sure my fiancé is the father
DEAR DEIDRE: MY cousin is expecting a baby and I’m pretty sure my fiance is the father.
I’m 27 and my fiancé, who is a plasterer, is 30.
My cousin is 32 and her pregnancy took the family by surprise because she hasn’t had a partner for years.
Whenever we ask about the father, she says she doesn’t want to talk about it.
My cousin and my fiancé get on rather well — too well for my liking.
She called on him to do a job for her that’s been dragging on for months — she wanted her lounge plastered. But when he completed that she booked him again to do her kitchen, and then, most recently, he plastered the nursery — which she still hasn’t paid him for.
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He’s normally really hot on the money side and makes sure customers pay 50 per cent up front, and the balance on completion.
So when he let her delay payment for the nursery, I became suspicious.
Recently, we were watching a film about a woman who had a love child with a married man and he asked me my opinion on the matter.
I flew off the handle and asked him why on earth he would even want to ask me such a thing.
He got very defensive and stormed off. My friends try to reassure me that I’ve got the wrong end of the stick, but last week alarm bells really started ringing when he didn’t return home after a day’s work at her place.
I couldn’t get hold of either of them.
His excuse was that it got late, and it made sense he stayed over at my cousin’s to save him the commute the next day.
My stomach is in knots with everything going on. What can I do?
READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Yes, it sounds like you might well be right, but you could also be putting two and two together to make five.
The only real way of knowing is by finding a moment to speak honestly and calmly with your fiance about your suspicions.
My support packs, Man Cheating On You? and Standing Up For Yourself can help you find the words.
Depending on what comes from that conversation, you’ll be able to start working out your next steps.
Talking to a qualified therapist can help you, whatever the outcome, and my support pack How Counselling Can Help explains more.
