I’m worried that my boyfriend will be an absent father before I’ve given birth
DEAR DEIDRE: DESPITE having a long-term partner I’m worried sick that I’m on the path to single motherhood before I’ve even given birth.
I am 27, my boyfriend is 33 and we have been together for two years.
Until now, he had always been supportive and loving.
While my pregnancy was a surprise, I never had any doubts about him.
We often spoke about starting a family and settling down together so I thought he would be over the moon.
However, after we found out, it feels like he’s gradually faded away from me. He hardly comes around to my flat any more and is always too busy for me to visit him.
Now I’m lucky if I see him once a week.
There’s always an excuse why he can’t come to my appointments, and when he is around he doesn’t help me at all.
I fear he’s waiting for a chance to leave. What did I do to deserve this?
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You will be feeling vulnerable so your partner’s withdrawal will feel incredibly unsettling.
It could be he is feeling overwhelmed. You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel.
Ask him to be honest with you. Is he having second thoughts? Is something else bothering him?
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself should help you to have this conversation productively.
Also, consider some relationship counselling. Contact Tavistock Relationships (020 7380 1960, ).
