Sex with my husband feels more like sex with a stranger
DEAR DIEDRE: SEX with my husband should be loving and intimate – but it feels more like I’m just having a one-night stand with a stranger.
After we do it, he turns over and lies on his back. He doesn’t kiss or cuddle me. It really hurts.
We’ve been married for five years. I’m 34 and he’s 35.
His excuse is that he’s tired and he needs to rest after sex, although he does cuddle me at other times. But it’s not just the lack of affection, he doesn’t seem all that interested in my pleasure during sex either.
The result is I rarely orgasm, except during oral sex. And I have to ask for that as he never volunteers it.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page.
I’ve been asking him what he likes, hoping that he’ll reciprocate – but he hasn’t taken the hint.
I’m not even sure if he realises I rarely climax, because he never even asks.
He doesn’t see a problem but I’m starting to not want sex with him because it always leaves me feeling sad and empty.
DEIDRE SAYS: Many men don’t understand how women achieve orgasm, which is usually via clitoral stimulation rather than penetration.
He probably thinks he’s having a good time, so you must be too.
You need to be honest with him or this will start to drive you apart.
Show him my support pack, Help Your Partner Reach Orgasm, and say you’d like to try out the tips
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
Pictures posed by models.