My wife is more interested in Botox and fillers than me and our children
DEAR DEIDRE: BOTOX, fillers, false nails and eyelashes – my wife has become unrecognisable, inside and out, since she started her new job at a fancy hairdressers.
I’m 39 and she is 37. Our daughters are 13 and 11.
She’s always taken care of her appearance, but recently it feels like it’s her only focus.
I wasn’t thrilled with her new job because of the hours.
But I knew it meant a lot to her so I agreed to work from home to keep up with our daughters’ needs.
Our eldest has changed so much at secondary school, but my wife hasn’t taken any interest.
Get in touch with Deidre
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
Send an email to [email protected]
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page.
Admittedly, my wife seems a lot happier since she got the job, but I’ve had no recognition of the big change in my life that enables her new lifestyle.
She spends hours on her hair and make-up or looking at videos and obsessing over how to improve her looks. It’s always all about her.
My needs are totally disregarded and she doesn’t seem to miss spending time with me or her daughters.
My wife looks incredible but I fear all this effort she’s taking on her looks is not for my benefit.
I can’t remember the last time we had sex.
Every time I’ve attempted she’s made some excuse.
She makes me feel like a boring stay-at-home dad.
If I’m honest I am jealous and resentful of her.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: There can be many reasons why someone stops wanting sex.
Talk to her about how you are feeling.
Let her know you want her to be happy but feel taken for granted and that you are missing being intimate.
Her preoccupation with her appearance suggests she may have low self-esteem.
Let her know how gorgeous you think she is and remind her that she is a role model to her daughters.
Gently let her know that by spending so much time looking in the mirror and at videos, she will lose the connection with her children.
It would help you both to talk to a therapist to work through these issues.
Find one via tavistockrelationships.org.
