My best mate’s mum is pregnant with my baby and threatening to expose affair
DEAR DEIDRE: MY best friend’s mum and I have been having secret sex for two years.
I thought it was a bit of fun, but now she’s discovered she is pregnant with my baby and wants us to run away together.
If I don’t agree, she’s threatening to expose our affair. I feel so stuck, and know either way my life will be turned upside down.
I am 22 and she’s 45 — and still married.
Her son and I have been best friends since we were in nappies and over the years I’ve spent a lot of time around their house.
Growing up, I always had a huge crush on her, and while I dreamed of the day she would be interested in me, I never thought it would actually happen.
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But everything changed when she offered to drive me home after a BBQ at their house.
We were really flirting and before I knew it we were kissing.
We couldn’t get enough of each other and so I started sneaking around whenever possible.
I would go over when she was alone and we even enjoyed a weekend away in my family’s caravan.
I never expected our fling to last.
But she has broken the news to me that she is ten weeks pregnant and wants to keep and raise the baby with me.
She says she loves me and, unless I give up everything and move away with her, she will tell everyone that I’m the father of her child.
I’m completely shocked and don’t know what to do. I’m not ready to be a father.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: No matter what you do, your secret will come out eventually and running away with her won’t change that.
Her ultimatum isn’t fair and would eventually backfire. The best thing you can do now is be honest.
Find a time when you are both calm, and speak to her about your worries.
Make it clear that you are not ready to settle down and that it won’t work for you to try to play happy families together.
If the child is yours, you will have an obligation to support them financially, at the very least.
While I understand that this has shaken you, it’s time to take responsibility for your actions.
For more information, contact the Citizen’s Advice Bureau ().
If she is going to expose you to your friend, it’s better that he hears it from you first.
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