We’d be together now if it weren’t for my married lover’s wife and her tricks

DEAR DEIDRE: MY gorgeous lover and I are so close to starting our new life, only his manipulative wife is getting in the way.

He insists he isn’t just using me for sex and is desperate to get away, so why won’t he take the leap?

I’m 36 and a divorcee and he’s 40.

I’ve got a daughter of 12. We’ve been together for a year and the sex is just as good as it was the first time.

When we got together he admitted straight away that he was married with three kids.

I nearly walked out, telling him I wasn’t into dating married men but he persuaded me to stay by insisting his marriage was over.

He said he was looking for love and his divorce papers were a formality.

We have been on holiday a couple of times and he has even told his father, who said he understood.

He has spoken to a solicitor and we have even chosen a new apartment block in town, close to my work and my daughter’s school.

My heart was in my mouth when I knew he was telling his wife about me.

Understandably, he was upset when he visited me afterwards, saying how difficult it had been.

Then when he went back to his family home she had gone and taken his children. His wife says he won’t see his kids if he moves in with me.

Two months have passed since he told her about us and it’s been awful since.

His wife’s family have been vicious on social media and threatened him.

Now he’s on medication, having panic attacks and says he can’t be with me.

He now says he has got no choice — we’re over. I’ve told him he can fight for his kids in court.

Why won’t he give us a chance?

DEIDRE SAYS:  He knows his wife and both of their families, and he has finally realised how tough life would be if he left.

Any legal fight to see your children hurts, emotionally and financially.

He could fight for his kids through the courts but he is stalling – which shows he hasn’t got the stomach for that.

Let him go.

Emotional blackmail isn’t right, but he owes it to his kids to do the right thing and at least see what can be salvaged from his marriage.

He’s not going to be your Mr Right. You deserve someone truly available.

My support pack Your Lover Not Free explains how to move on.

Pictures are posed by models.