I’m convinced barman is the father of my child but my wife won’t allow DNA test
DEAR DEIDRE: I BELIEVE the barman at my local pub is the father of my daughter.
My girlfriend denies she’s cheated, and she won’t let me arrange a DNA test, but I am still concerned that I’m not my baby’s father.
I’m 27 and my girlfriend is 24. We’ve been together for two years and have a ten-month-old baby girl.
Before we met, my girlfriend had a lot of relationships and she admits she did cheat on previous partners.
In fact, when we got together, she was still seeing another guy, so she actually cheated with me.
But as soon as things got serious and she got pregnant, she promised those days were behind her.
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I believed her and couldn’t wait to be a dad too. When our daughter was born I fell madly in love with her instantly.
She didn’t look at all like me, but I thought she’d start to resemble me as she grew up. Instead, the opposite seemed to happen.
I’m quite fair, with reddish-blond hair, freckles and green eyes.
She has brown eyes, dark curly hair and olive skin.
She doesn’t get these features from her blonde mum.
Last weekend in the pub I froze, when the barman walked towards me.
It suddenly dawned on me that my baby looks like him. They both have dark curls and brown eyes.
When I got home, my girlfriend insisted I was being ridiculous.
Apparently lots of her relatives are dark-haired. The baby just takes after them.
She added that I should trust her and it was an insult to demand a DNA test.
I love the baby and will still love her even if it turns out that she is not mine. But I just feel that I need to know the truth about this.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your fears are understandable, but genetics are very complex.
It’s not unusual for parents to have a child who looks nothing like either of them.
You have no evidence she’s ever slept with the barman.
She already feels you don’t trust her. Insisting on this test could jeopardise your relationship and, if you split, your relationship with the baby.
And you’ve said you want to be a father to her whatever happens.
It’s a good idea to have some counselling, so you can talk all of this through.
My support pack will tell you more about this.
If you do decide to go ahead with a DNA test, then contact Cellmark, (, 0800 036 253322), which provides confidential, conclusive, court-approved DNA tests.
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