My dating life is a mess – Should give up on men altogether?
DEAR DEIDRE: MY dating history has been a catalogue of disasters and I’m at the point of giving up on men altogether.
Something about me seems to attract the rudest and most ignorant guys.
I’m 35, reasonably attractive and solvent, with a good job and lots of friends. I’d love nothing more than to settle down and have a family.
But since I split up with my long-term boyfriend five years ago, I haven’t met anyone I’d be willing to spend a day with, let alone a lifetime.
It’s not that I’m too choosy – I’m very open-minded and like meeting different types of men. So, like everyone else these days, I use dating apps.
Some of the men I talk to seem fine at first. But once we get past chatting, it all goes wrong.
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Take the guy who called me lazy on our first date because I chose to take the lift rather than climb three flights of stairs in my heels.
Or the one who told me I should be more ambitious when I mentioned my modestly paid office job. Or the man who asked if my breasts were real – five minutes after we’d met.
I know I’m not perfect, but this sort of thing really gets me down.
Am I putting out the wrong signals?
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DEIDRE SAYS: There is nothing wrong with you at all. Perhaps because you’re anxious to settle down, you aren’t being choosy enough.
And some men can sense that too.
It sounds like you’re trying to find the good in every man you speak to and are agreeing to meet some men who aren’t worth your time.
Please don’t give up on dating or on finding the right man.
But perhaps it is time to give up on dating apps, or at least not to use them exclusively.
While they do work for some lucky folk, many people complain of the same issues as you.
Instead, think about your interests and hobbies – sports, music, travel – and try to join in activities where you’ll meet men who you already have something in common with.
My support packs, Finding The Right Partner For You and Finding The Love Of Your Life, should help you.
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