Our house is a miserable place to live since my son moved in his girlfriend
DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE my son moved his girlfriend into our house, it’s a miserable place to live.
They don’t pay rent and yet they complain about everything, from the temperature and the decor to how loud we put the TV on.
I’m 52 and my wife is 49. We agreed our son, 23, should live with us because there’s no affordable housing nearby and he’s still training.
When he asked if his girlfriend, 21, could move in too, we stupidly said yes.
In the evenings, they lie together on the sofa, making it impossible for anyone else to relax in the living room.
On the weekends, they lie in bed until midday and then saunter down in their pyjamas. It makes it impossible to have guests.
And the embarrassing noises that come out of their room at night . . .
My wife and I are really upset but don’t want to fall out with our son.
I feel angry. They are adults and should be grateful that we’re generously giving them a place to stay so they can save up for the future.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your son and his girlfriend don’t appreciate how lucky they are to live rent-free.
You are not answerable to them, and don’t have to justify your choices or decisions about your home.
You certainly shouldn’t feel you can’t sit in your own living room, or invite your friends for lunch.
It’s time to be firm. Tell them their behaviour is putting you both on edge and isn’t acceptable.
It would be good to discuss a timescale that works for all of you for how long they can stay.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help you.
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