Cruel ex-girlfriend belittled me so much that I have no confidence – I feel broken

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex-girlfriend constantly belittled me to the point where my self-esteem has hit an all-time low.

Our relationship lasted ten years and while the first few were great, over time she became more and more verbally abusive.

Initially, it was small things like shouting at me for not pulling my weight around the house but eventually it escalated into remarks about my appearance.

She started to complain about the way that I looked and would mock my performance in bed, even ridiculing me about it in front of friends.

She has single-handedly diminished every ounce of confidence I had left.

I’m 42, my ex is 38. At the time I didn’t realise the impact it was having on me, but looking back her constant put-downs have ruined me.

When we eventually broke up my heart was shattered – but nothing could then have prepared me for the devastating news that she had been cheating on me for most of our relationship.

I feel broken. How could she treat me like this?

DEIDRE SAYS: Your ex-girlfriend was emotionally abusive, for which there is no excuse. She treated you appallingly, probably accusing you of inadequacies to justify her own cheating.

While it won’t feel like it now, breaking up with such a selfish partner really is a blessing in disguise.

Now that you are apart from her you can focus on rebuilding your self-confidence.

My support pack Raising Self-esteem will help you to do this.
You absolutely deserve someone who will love and support you, not treat you like she did.

Consider contacting the Mankind Initiative, which helps male victims of domestic abuse (mankind.org.uk, 01823 334 244).