My hot PT lover’s got me fitter than ever but is she using me as a cash cow?
DEAR DEIDRE: I THINK my personal trainer, who is also my lover, is taking advantage of me.
We have been having sex and I believed we were in a relationship. But she keeps asking for money and presents.
I’m 48 and two years ago my wife died of breast cancer.
She was my best friend and the love of my life.
After her death I felt so lost that I became depressed. I joined the gym to try to pick myself up.
While I was there, I got talking to a young woman, 28, who said she was thinking of starting up as a personal trainer and would love to train me.
She started coming to my home twice a week. She was attentive and made me feel good about myself.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page.
I couldn’t help admiring her toned figure and long, dark hair.
One evening she stayed for a drink. That turned into several and before I knew it, we were kissing.
Then she led me up to the bedroom. It had been a long time since I’d had sex, and it felt so good. She even began calling me her boyfriend.
We’d go out for meals and I was happy to pay because I knew I had a lot more money than her. But then, in hindsight, things started to take a dark turn.
She started to ask for gifts such as clothes, shoes, jewellery and then cash.
To begin with, she wanted me to help pay for some marketing materials to launch her personal training business.
Then is was little loans, followed by bigger ones.
When I started to voice my concerns, she took offence and made me feel guilty. She said if I loved her, I would look after her properly.
My gut tells me this relationship isn’t healthy but I can’t bear to lose her and be alone.
What should I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I am sorry to say this, but your instinct is right.
This young woman is taking advantage of your loneliness and grief – and exploiting your generosity.
You need to end this relationship.
As you know, it’s not an equal one and has no future. Instead, focus on making friends.
My support pack on Bereavement will tell you how to get counselling if you need to talk to anyone about your grief.
Join WAY (), a group for people in your position, where you can meet others who understand what you have been through.
