Moving home to be closer to my girlfriend makes me feel sick
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M thinking of calling it a day with my girlfriend because I don’t want to move to where she lives.
I’m 34, she is 33 and we both have young children from previous relationships.
My son’s school is a short walk from my house and as I work from home I can easily do the school run when he stays with me.
The rest of the time he lives with his mum.
My girlfriend lives a good half hour’s drive away. Her son is only two and her ex is literally around the corner.
The other day I was at my girlfriend’s house but because the traffic was so heavy it took me an hour and a half to get home.
If this had been a school-run day I’d have been away from work for that amount of time.
I love her and don’t want to leave her, but when she talks about the future and me moving in I have a sick feeling in my stomach.
Moving to her side of town isn’t practical at all.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Try not to focus on the bad traffic and see it more as a challenge, for which there will be a number of solutions.
If you really don’t want to move, then it’s completely fine to discuss whether there’s room for compromise.
As distance is the problem, would she consider meeting you halfway? Or would she consider moving in with you?
There is another solution – could you stay in your home while you have your son and live with her when your son is with his mum?
Many couples now choose to “live apart together” but if neither of you can agree a way forward, perhaps it’s more realistic to accept that the relationship doesn’t matter enough to either of you.
Rather than avoiding the conversation which she will be picking up on, start to face up to the issue and work it through together.
