HURT BY THE PAST

Girlfriend knows my HIV secret but I fear she will walk away

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM having doubts about my relationship because I am irrationally convinced my lover is going to ghost me.

I am a 32-year-old man and my girlfriend is 33.

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We have been together for six months and get on brilliantly.

She knows my big secret, that I am HIV-positive. I was honest with her about it from the very beginning.

She was initially upset, but after I explained that my condition is under control and I’m in good health, she said she still wanted to be with me. She is HIV negative.

We are very careful to practise safe sex.

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I really want to believe her, but I am having doubts because in past relationships three ex-girlfriends ghosted me after empty promises.

I am terrified she is going to do the same. What can I do?

DEIDRE SAYS: Rejection happens to everyone, but it is important not to take it personally.

There’s still fear and lack of understanding about HIV.

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Stigma is still a big issue and many are unaware of the many medical advances.

Your fear of being hurt again is self-defence, but be careful not to self-sabotage.

Your girlfriend is aware of your status and has been with you for six months. Don’t push her away.

My support pack Looking After Your Relationship explains how you can beat this problem through good communication and a strong foundation of trust.

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