My married lover is having extra-marital sex with other women – I’m torn up
DEAR DEIDRE: IT turns out my married lover, doesn’t only enjoy having extra-marital sex with me.
After a seven-year relationship, I’ve discovered he has a whole string of women in tow.
I truly thought we had a future together and only recently have seen he never had any intention of ever leaving his wife.
I’m 36, he’s 42 and we met at work. From the moment we laid eyes on each other, neither of us could stay away.
While I felt guilty at first, he convinced me his marriage had grown stale and it was only a matter of time before he and his wife split up.
We started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend, and he assured me that I was the only one for him.
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He sold me the world and, stupidly enough, I believed it.
Flash forward a few years and things don’t look so rosy. He’s started to belittle me, telling me he’s the only person who would bother to love me.
Over time, it’s escalated and he doesn’t like me having friends over even when he’s not with me. I’d started to feel pretty trapped.
Then one day I spotted a raunchy text on his phone from a woman I’d never heard of.
I couldn’t stop myself from reading the rest of his messages.
Turns out that he’s been sleeping with countless women for months.
I couldn’t believe it and I know it sounds silly but I actually thought I was special to him. The next morning I ended things.
Ever since I’ve become a shell of a person and my mental health has completely deteriorated.
To make things worse, last week I received an anonymous call warning me to get checked for HIV.
How could he do this to me?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: This man is a controlling compulsive liar and you have done well to get him out of your life.
If he was willing to cheat on his wife, then it’s no surprise that he was cheating on you too.
Visit your doctor as soon as you can. Early detection is often key for effective treatment of STIs.
Your discovery is a blessing in disguise. Your relationship with him was stopping you from finding a fulfilling and honest relationship.
Read my support pack Mend Your Broken Heart to help you move on.
Focus on meeting someone who is available and willing to commit to you fully and try to get out as much as possible.
