I betrayed girlfriend and now drunken fling lover says she is pregnant
DEAR DEIDRE: I CHEATED on my girlfriend in a drunken night of passionate sex with a woman I got chatting to in a pub.
It was fun but I regretted it the next morning — although not nearly as much as when the woman I cheated with told me she’s pregnant.
I’m so unlucky, it’s the only time I’ve been unfaithful and I get someone pregnant.
A moment of stupidity has landed me in a world of grief.
My girlfriend and I have been together for six years, ever since college.
We’re both 24 and part of me feels that I missed out on playing the field.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page.
A few months ago, I went out for a friend’s birthday.
I got blind drunk and ended up having sex with a girl I met in the pub.
We went back to her flat where we hardly slept.
But as I sobered up, I realised how much I love my girlfriend.
I told the girl I was sorry but it was best if we didn’t meet again.
I thought I’d got away with it. And though I felt guilty, I knew that telling my girlfriend would only hurt her.
Then last week, the girl I slept with sent me a message.
She told me she was pregnant and is certain the baby is mine, as she didn’t have sex with anyone else. I don’t think she’s lying.
When I asked if she was going to keep the baby, she said she didn’t know.
If I’m honest, I want her to have an abortion. If she has the baby, it’ll wreck my relationship with my girlfriend.
And I’m not ready to be a dad. I don’t earn enough money to support a child.
I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop thinking about this and my girlfriend has noticed I’m not myself.
I just keep wishing I could go back in time and resist that woman.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: We all make mistakes, but you now need to deal with the consequences.
Unfortunately, it’s up to the girl you slept with whether she decides to keep the baby.
If she does, whether you are involved in the baby’s life or not, you’ll still have a legal obligation to support the child.
My support pack Unplanned Pregnancy explains more.
Think seriously about whether to tell your girlfriend what has happened.
If the other woman does have the baby, you’ll have to come clean.
This upsetting news would be better coming from you.
But relationships can survive incidents like this, and even deepen, if both partners are committed.
If you decide not to tell your girlfriend, make sure you learn from your mistake.
Put your energies into your relationship and, if you feel there is something missing, address that with your partner.
My support pack Cheating, Can You Get Over It? has more on this.
