I’m torn up after finding out the man I love has a secret wife and kids
DEAR DEIDRE: The sexual chemistry sizzled the day I met the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with, until the crushing blow came that he was married.
I’m 29, he’s 35 and we met on a dating app. From the moment we laid eyes on each other there were sparks flying.
I had honestly never felt such intense feelings for someone in such a short amount of time.
He was everything I had ever dreamed of, a generous lover, compassionate, funny and romantic. Before I knew it we were talking about our future together.
He told me that he couldn’t wait to have kids with me, and we had even started looking for flats to move into.
I was living on cloud nine, but it all came crashing down when I received a text message from an unknown number. It read: “Stay away from my husband.”
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At first, I thought it was some kind of joke, but then I received photos from his wedding day. I couldn’t believe it. Not only did he have a wife, but two young kids too.
My heart shattered into a million pieces. Everything that he had told me about himself had been a complete lie.
I was so hurt that I blocked his number on the spot, and I haven’t seen him since.
Looking back I think I chose to ignore the warning signs.
Not once did I stay over at his house, and the topic of meeting each other’s families was always avoided.
He would disappear for days, and while I thought it was strange, I somehow convinced myself that he was just busy with work. I think I wanted to see the best in him.
Now I’m heartbroken and wondering what I ever did to deserve this.
How could I be so clueless?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: There’s no way you could have known.
While there may have been warning signs, the fact you chose to see the best in him says everything about you and your character.
The only person at fault here is him. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Take this as a blessing in disguise. It’s better that you know now rather than later when things may have escalated.
I know this hurts deeply, and in the short term coming to terms with his lies will be painful. But once you start to get over him, it will get easier.
My support pack Mend Your Broken Heart will help you move on.
