Failed IVF treatment and depression have knocked my wife’s libido
DEAR DEIDRE: WITH every bone in my body I love my wife, but there is no intimacy between us. I’d be lucky to get a snog from her.
She has lost her libido since being put on antidepressants over a year ago.
I am 38 and she is 36. We have been together for ten years and married for five.
We have not had any type of intimacy for well over a year.
We went through IVF as she wasn’t able to conceive naturally, but then you have to be intimate for that to happen.
Now we have more or less given up on our dream to start a family.
My wife was struggling and had a bit of a breakdown and the sex just stopped.
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She tells me she loves me but that is as far as it goes. I desperately want us to get back on track.
I feel we still have a lot of love for one another.
DEIDRE SAYS: IVF treatment will have been tough on your wife emotionally and psychologically.
Sex for her means all kinds of painful things – failure, longing and hopelessness – and she may need counselling to move forward.
Tell her you feel you are both missing out on a lot of intimacy and want to get close again.
Depression can knock libido, but my support pack Reviving A Woman’s Sex Drive will help.
Meanwhile a good start is kissing, cuddling and caressing each other, with no pressure to have intercourse at first
