Having a friends with benefits was perfect until he fell in love with me
DEAR DEIDRE: BEING in a friends with benefits relationship made me happy until my friend became irrationally jealous.
Now he’s acting like he’s my husband and I don’t know what to do.
I’m female and 26 and have been FWB with a guy of 27 for six months. We met through a mutual pal.
We’re both single and enjoy spending time together – going to movies, bars and clubs or just hanging out.
There is chemistry between us so we ended up having drunken sex a few times.
As we’ve both had bad relationships in the past, we agreed we didn’t want to spoil our friendship by getting involved in anything serious.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page.
Being FWB suited us both.
However, a couple of weeks ago an ex called me and I met him for a drink.
MY FWB called me while we were out, and when I said who I was with he got upset.
He ended up drunk-texting me that he loved me and wants to be with me.
Since then, whenever I’ve seen him he’s wanted to talk about our “relationship”. It’s not fun and casual any more.
I do like him, but this wasn’t what we agreed.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Friends with benefits relationships can be an emotional minefield if both partners are not on the same page.
And they rarely last long as, inevitably, feelings or circumstances change.
It sounds like your FWB no longer just wants casual sex. You need to determine whether this is down to jealousy or if he genuinely wants a full relationship.
You also need to figure out what you want. After your previous experiences, you’re understandably wary of commitment.
But if you get on well and clearly fancy each other, a relationship could work.
