I’m at my wits’ end with overbearing mother-in-law who thinks my son is hers
DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE the birth of our child, my mother-in-law has become so overbearing. I’m at my wits’ end.
She seems to think that our child is hers, and I don’t know how to tell her to back off without causing a row.
She is 64 and was widowed two years ago. I’m 30 and have been married to my husband, who is 32, for three years.
It’s fair to say that she has always struggled with boundaries, but things have escalated since we welcomed our first child two months ago.
She has been turning up unannounced at our house almost every day and has completely taken over caring for our baby.
It’s hard to find a moment in the day when she’s not cradling him.
Often she makes me feel as if I’m an incapable mother and is constantly correcting how I hold, wash and feed him.
I know she means well. However, I can’t help but resent her.
How can I set some boundaries without causing an upset?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like your mother-in-law is lonely and is filling that void by caring for your son.
You need to talk to your husband and explain how this is upsetting you. Tell him you need your own time to bond with your son.
It would be best to set boundaries together. For starters, decide as a couple how and when she can visit.
Read my support pack Standing Up For Yourself, which will help you both develop some assertiveness skills.
