Partner accuses me of cheating when I speak to another man despite sexting strangers
DEAR DEIDRE: EVERY time I speak to another man my partner accuses me of cheating.
It’s strange, because over the last ten years he’s the one who has sent pictures of his privates to strangers, had condoms in his wallet and the numbers of escorts and massage parlours on his phone.
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He says he hasn’t used any of them so it doesn’t count as cheating when I have confronted him.
Although, he has admitted he has thought about it because in his opinion we don’t have enough sex.
Why doesn’t he seem to understand that his behaviour affects how I feel?
His answer to any problem is to have sex.
I’m 43 and my partner’s 46.
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We’ve been together for 15 years.
He’s the love of my life and I really want our relationship to work.
DEIDRE SAYS: Sexting is a form of cheating. In fact, anything that one partner feels damages their relationship counts as cheating.
Blaming you means he is deflecting attention away from his bad behaviour and not facing up to reality.
Have an honest discussion, drawing out your red lines. I’m sure he wouldn’t accept the same behaviour from you.
He needs to accept how damaging his attitude is and that he has a lot of work to do to earn your trust back.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
If he is unwilling to try, please ask yourself if he deserves another chance.
My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? can help.