My boyfriend is refusing to move in until we’ve had a trial run in a motorhome

DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend won’t move in with me until we’ve had a month’s trial period living together in a motorhome.

I’ve said no because this isn’t what couples do, but he’s insisting.

1

I’m 29 and he’s 27. We’ve been in a serious relationship for three years and have talked about buying a flat together.

He’s got Asperger’s, which means he is not very good with change, and it’s likely this is why he’s suggesting this idea.

But it seems ridiculous. Being cramped together in a motorhome with a camping toilet is nothing like living in a flat.

It won’t prove anything except how much I hate camping holidays. Yet he thinks it will be romantic!

If he loves and trusts me, as he says, then surely he should take a risk.

And If he can’t even move in with me after all this time together, how will he cope in the future if we have kids?

Most read in Dear Deidre

DEIDRE'S STORIES

Carl's girlfriend is surprised he's unfazed by men's comments on women

DEAR DEIDRE

I'm convinced my wife is offering herself up to her boss for designer gear

SO LOW

Life is so hard hard that I’m stealing wine from the supermarket to cope

DRUG WORRIES

My son is addicted to cocaine and it's ruining our relationship

DEIDRE SAYS: I’ve told him we need space. He doesn’t understand why I’m so upset.

You’re right that a camping trip – which you’d hate – isn’t the best introduction to co-habitation or any reflection of real life.

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE'S STORIES

Pregnant Anya discovers her one-night stand was with Jack's brother

FALSE START

I moved 300 miles for a new job, but nothing's working out

Perhaps you both need to compromise. Rather than rushing into buying a place, which is a big commitment, you could find a short-term rental together.

You might both find it helpful to read The Asperger Couple’s Workbook, by Maxine Aston, which may help you to understand each other’s differences.