I moved 300 miles for a new job, but nothing’s working out

DEAR DEIDRE: I MOVED 300 miles for my new job, uprooting the family with a promise of a better life.

Sadly, nothing is working out. I hate the role, and my wife and I are arguing more than ever before.

1

I have no friends here and feel trapped.

Apart from my children, there is nothing for me. My only option would be to move back north, where I originally came from.

But my children are only two and five. I can’t just get up and leave this marriage.

I would look so bad and I’d miss my kids too much – so I’m stuck.

My wife is 39 and I am 43. We have been together for eight years.

I am sick of pleasing everyone else and feel that no one cares when it comes to me.

I’m having lots of bad days and I’m aware my moods are affecting the children.

I want them to have a happy dad, not a miserable one.

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DEIDRE SAYS: First, try to work out the root of your unhappiness.

It sounds as if you were hoping this move would be the solution to your issues.

A shiny new house and job may offer a short-term distraction, but it won’t solve relationship issues or a deep-rooted unhappiness in the long term.

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Share your feelings with your wife and talk about how low you are. Ask to work together on finding solutions.

If you are still feeling depressed, talk to your doctor who will be able to refer you for support.