10-year-old son has his dad’s terrible temper and I’m walking on eggshells

DEAR DEIDRE: To my dismay, my youngest son is becoming aggressive and flies off the handle at the smallest provocation. 

He’s 10-years-old and his temper has been worsening over the last couple of years.

I’m 45 and my husband is 48.

Last night, after telling him five times it was time to turn off the light, he hurled his book at me and then trashed his room because he didn’t want to finish reading. 

His dad has got a short fuse and can fly off the handle without warning so I’m worried he could be picking up the same habits. 

There is no reasoning with him. If he doesn’t get his own way, all hell breaks loose.

I stay patient, follow through with threats and give him plenty of attention.

So where am I going wrong? I feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time.

DEIDRE SAYS: Parenting is so difficult and you’re clearly doing your best so please don’t blame yourself.

But yes I’m afraid history often repeats.

Your son is learning from your husband to deal with frustration with anger. 

On one hand you are patient, but your husband erupts without warning, your son won’t know where the boundaries lie.

Talk to your husband and find a common approach; one request, one warning and then follow through is a solid start.

My support pack on Managing Anger will help.