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DEAR DEIDRE

How to last longer during sex

DEIDRE SAYS: Premature ejaculation affects one in three men at some stage in their lives. 

It can be extremely frustrating for both partners, bringing sex to an abrupt and unsatisfactory end. 

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Premature ejaculation can affect all men
Premature ejaculation can affect all men

Premature ejaculation is when you climax and ejaculate too quickly during sex.

A reported that the average time taken to ejaculate during intercourse was around five and a half minutes.

Although this varies for all men. In the study, ejaculation times ranged from 30 seconds to 44 minutes.

Premature ejaculation is particularly common in younger, less experienced men, but can affect all men.

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It can also be caused by physical or medical issues - such as thyroid or prostate problems - and medication.

Although for most men, the cause is psychological or emotional. 

What can you do to last longer?

Sex starts in your head, so the more you worry, the more likely it is to happen.

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To save embarrassment, talk to your partner. They may be able to reassure and relax you.

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.

Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

You can also send a private message on the Facebook page.

Don’t have sex in a rush. Make sure you’re ready, feeling comfortable, and won’t be disturbed. 

Next, make sure to focus on foreplay.

Sex is not just about penetration. Not only will this lengthen the experience, but it will also help build your connection.

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Some men find that thinking about other things while they're having sex helps them last longer, as they're distracted.

Actor Danny Dyer says he thinks about his “nan’s toenails”.

If the problem keeps happening, agree to take intercourse off the agenda for a while. 

Performance anxiety sometimes goes away on it's own when you take sex off the table.

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Instead, enjoy touching, kissing and bringing each other to orgasm orally.

Still having problems?

Some find it helps to speak to an expert, so do consider sex therapy.

Don't be embarrassed to talk about your issue - it's their job to help you.

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And do see your doctor if you suddenly develop a problem delaying orgasm, or if it coincides with a new diagnosis or medication.

More information is available in our Want to Last Longer?  support pack. 

There are plenty of other methods to ensure a more fulfilling sex life so please do write in. Our team of experienced counsellors are on hand to offer personalised advice.

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Email us at deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk or send us a message on  or .

No issue is too large, too small or too embarrassing.

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