I fear I’m letting my daughter down by not helping out enough with her boys

DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though it is exhausting at times, I have constantly offered to help my daughter with her children.

My 26-year-old daughter is a single mum to two boisterous boys, aged five and three.

She has been studying for a nursing degree, but finds the childcare/study juggle really difficult.

She failed an exam recently and complained she wasn’t getting enough support from her family.

I am her 58-year-old mum and worry she feels I’m letting her down.

But there aren’t enough hours in the day, as I also care for my elderly father, which is a full-time job in itself.

I’m sure she feels second best and I hate that, but I can’t stop time.

DEIDRE SAYS: You have done a great job by being a loving and constant presence in your grandchildren’s lives.

If you do too much you will only feel resentful and possibly make yourself ill with exhaustion.

Your relationship with your daughter and grandchildren will also take a hit.

Sometimes you have to put yourself first.

You are supporting your daughter as best you can and although you want to be able to help more, your daughter has to find her own solutions.

Offer to babysit and give help in emergencies.