I’m having hot sex with my married colleague – but I’m also engaged
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been having hot sex with a married colleague despite being engaged to my long-term boyfriend.
I’m 31. My boyfriend is 35.
I was embarrassed into accepting his proposal as we were surrounded by family and friends at Christmas time and they were all in on it.
He’s great, but we’ve been together for eight years and the spark left our relationship a long time ago.
The wedding plans were going smoothly until a new guy joined our team at work.
I sell insurance services and he does our marketing. He’s 29.
I fancied him on sight, but when I got talking to him at a training event, something shifted inside me.
He got me my coffee, then we had lunch together.
Despite us admitting to each other that he was married and I was due to tie the knot, there was an instant chemistry and I kept getting butterflies in my stomach.
I’d never felt like this about my boyfriend.
I couldn’t wait for the training session to end, so that we could talk again.
We had drinks at the bar before dinner and our conversation turned to our sex lives. He told me he had an open marriage.
I told him that sex was “a bit too vanilla” for me and I’d prefer it if my boyfriend would spice things up.
He said: “Ooh, now you’re talking. I wouldn’t need asking twice.”
We laughed and then he said: “Could you show me what you are talking about?”
I felt flattered and a little awkward, but we went to my room and had the most mind-blowing sex ever.
Now we are back at work, we have both admitted that we are infatuated.
We can’t keep our hands off one another.
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His wife doesn’t know about me, but he wants us to be together.
What do I do about my wedding?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Call it off. It’s better to end your engagement than go through an expensive wedding and an even more costly divorce.
Your colleague may not be the man for you, but it is clear you’re not committed to your fiancé.
If you loved him, you’d be jumping for joy at the thought of your wedding day, but you are indifferent at best.
My support pack Ending A Relationship will help you to do this with the least hurt possible.
Right now, you are lusting after someone who is married so you’re both cheating.
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If you do go ahead and cancel your wedding, you will soon know if your colleague is serious about you.