I’ve been cheating on my wife with various gay men – should I confess to her?
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been chatting online to various gay men behind my wife’s back.
There is one man, in particular, I have been talking to and we’ve exchanged sexy pictures.
This has been going on for the past five years.
We haven’t met up in person as yet but I think it will happen sooner or later.
I think I am gay but am confused and it is starting to show. I worry I’ll slip up and my wife will find out. She’s suspicious.
I’m 46 and my wife’s 44. We’ve been married for seven years.
We mostly get on but I think I’m in love with this other man. He’s 37 and single.
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He has told me I should accept who I am. I am starting to believe he is right.
I am cheating on my wife. Should I confess to her and set her free?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Whether you are gay, straight or bi, sending sexually explicit texts and pictures is a form of cheating. It is only a matter of time before you are rumbled by your wife.
We cannot choose our sexuality. It is on a spectrum and many of us develop an attraction for people of the same gender at different stages of their lives.
Although you have not physically met, you have built an emotional connection with this man.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
You need to decide whether you want to work on your relationship with your wife or explore this side to your sexuality.
First, find support at Switchboard LGBT+ (, 0300 330 0630).