My sexless marriage is making me depressed
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M on antidepressants to help me cope in my sexless marriage.
I’m 64 and my wife’s 61. We’ve been married for 34 years but not made love for 30.
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Everything stopped once my wife had the kids. But I still have a strong sex drive.
She’d turn me down saying she was too tired or too busy. I stopped trying.
I love my wife and have never considered cheating. But her denying me sex sent me into a dark spiral of depression.
It’s hard when the person you love the most rejects you.
Five years ago I got help for my depression. I told my doctor I didn’t know what was making me feel so low.
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I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. I haven’t even told my wife.
The anti-depressants help but I long for intimacy again.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry to hear that you have had such a tough time. It is never too late for positive changes in a relationship.
We know a healthy sex life has huge mental health benefits, so missing out on this part of your life will understandably make you feel low.
Find the courage to explain to your wife how you have been feeling.
Let her know how much you love her and that you miss being close with her.
I am attaching my support pack Reviving A Woman’s Sex Drive for more advice.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
It might also be worth visiting a sex therapist together to help rescue your sex life after so long.
Contact (0300 100 1234).