I’m having wild sex with a work colleague but I’m engaged to someone else
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been sexting a guy at work and we have even had sex a few times – it’s not the behaviour you would expect from a bride-to-be.
My wedding day is six months away and yet I feel a mess. I’m a woman of 28 and I’ve been with my fiancé for four years.
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He’s 31 and he’s a lovely guy but I’ve started to find life with him too predictable.
I work for an insurance company and a new guy joined us in our IT department.
I was having problems with my laptop and he was sent to help me out. We seemed to click immediately.
He has great style and a wicked smile. I love my fashion so I talked to him about his favourite designers while he fixed my computer.
We chatted away for an hour and I enjoyed it so much I felt sorry that he managed to fix the computer.
Later he messaged me asking if I’d had any more problems, and told me to call him if I needed anything.
He put the wink emoji at the end of his message, which made my stomach flip.
The next text said: “Are you rushing home or do you fancy a drink?” I didn’t need asking twice.
We went to a wine bar and shared a bottle.
Afterwards, he invited me back to his place — he told me that he was 34 and lived with his long-term partner but that she was away with her parents.
Once we got to his house, he immediately started kissing me.
I’d had a few drinks but I knew perfectly well what I was doing when I allowed him to take my clothes off.
We had sex and it felt so different and adventurous, and I did things I’d never done before.
We started sexting regularly from then on. We’ve had sex twice since and have agreed it’s a bit of fun.
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We don’t want to have feelings for one another but he’s such a draw for me.
What should I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: My guess is that you’re already developing feelings for him. You’re both in committed relationships and cheating is never the answer.
If your fiancé isn’t the man of your dreams then don’t marry him.
You should be full of joy about your forthcoming marriage and if your head is elsewhere, then he’s not right for you.
Continuing to cheat isn’t fair on your fiancé.
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Stop your affair with the IT guy before there are two broken relationships to deal with.
Tell your fiancé things don’t feel right and get some urgent help from Relate to see if you’re truly compatible (, 0300 003 2324).