I think I was raped as I woke up to my friend having sex with me

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I read a letter in a recent Dear Deidre column, I felt sick because I realised I might have been raped too.

Before that, I thought what had happened to me was normal, but now I feel really disturbed and upset.

I am a 23-year-old single woman and, two months ago, I went out for a drink with a colleague.

We both got very drunk and ended up back at my place.

I remember letting him kiss me, and then blacking out.

When I came round, he was having sex with me on the sofa.

I think he stopped when I asked him to, but I can’t really remember.
It’s all a blur.

Maybe I’m overreacting but I don’t think I agreed to have sex.

Was this rape and should I report him?

I can’t stop thinking about it.

DEIDRE SAYS: Realising that you may have been sexually assaulted or raped is a terrible shock, and it’s important you talk to someone.

I’m sorry to let you know the law says that if someone is too drunk to give consent to sex, then, yes, they were raped.

Please contact Rape Crisis (, 0808 802 9999) which can help give you further support and advice about this.