Ex-husband taunted me with explicit video of us we filmed years earlier
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I got sent a video late at night I assumed it was footage of my daughter, who was staying with her dad.
Opening it, I got the shock of my life as I quickly realised it was an intimate clip of me my husband had taken years earlier.
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I was absolutely mortified and felt sick.
Three months ago I decided to kick my husband out as I couldn’t stand being miserable any longer. I’m 33 and he’s 35.
I can’t believe he actually still had it or that he thought it was a good idea to send it to me.
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Deleting the video, I rang him demanding he do the same, along with any other intimate footage he might still have.
He does not have my permission to keep those videos. What can I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: If you gave consent when he filmed you years ago, then unfortunately he is legally permitted to keep it.
If not, it is against the law to film someone sexually without their consent.
The safe rule is to only allow footage of yourself that you’d be happy to show your parents.
Once this content is created, it’s very hard to control.
If he shares it with anyone else without your consent, then this would be breaking the law and constitutes revenge porn.
You can appeal to his better judgment and ask – for your sake and the sake of good relations going forward – he destroys any upsetting footage.