I am dating two men and want to leave the controlling one but he won’t let me
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M dating two men and confused about what to do next – I know who I want to be with but not how to finish with the other guy.
The first man, who’s 29, is cruel and controlling.
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I’ve been with him for a year but he wears me down.
The other guy, who’s 27, is like a breath of fresh air. I feel good about myself with him. I’m 24.
Friends say the first man is not normal and have encouraged me to get out dating again.
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I’ve only been seeing this other chap for a month. I’m not sure how to break up with my boyfriend.
I’ve tried before but he wheedles his way back in.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your boyfriend does sound worryingly controlling, so learning some assertive techniques will help you.
Remain calm and factual. State clearly you are sorry because you know it will hurt him, but you no longer wish to be with him.
Don’t weaken, as it will make breaking up far harder in the long term.
I am sending you my support pack Ending A Relationship to help.