Nobody knows I was abused as a child and I can’t enjoy sex with my boyfriend
DEAR DEIDRE: I DON’T think I’ll ever be able to orgasm after being sexually abused as a child.
I really love my boyfriend but he doesn’t know my secret. Nobody does.
For more advice from Dear Deidre
No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.
My boyfriend and I are both 24. We’ve been together for a year.
Every time we have sex, his main goal is to make me climax.
He is a very considerate lover and wants me to enjoy being with him.
He makes jokes about how hard I am to please but I can tell he is getting frustrated with me.
I’ve never been able to orgasm, not with previous partners or even on my own. Masturbating doesn’t seem right and I feel guilty.
I realise I’m probably like this because my uncle abused me when I was younger.
Get in touch with Deidre
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
Send an email to [email protected]
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page.
It’d be too mortifying to explain to my boyfriend. I dread sex.
Should I just fake it next time? I hate feeling like I’m letting him down.
Most read in Dear Deidre
DEIDRE SAYS: You are right that being sexually abused will have affected your ability to enjoy intimacy.
What you are describing is not unusual among abuse survivors.
Though you are now an adult and were abused years ago, you would still benefit from talking to a counsellor and getting the right support.
It is never too late to start healing from the deep scars that the abuse will have caused.