Jump directly to the content
DEAR DEIDRE

I caught my wife sending nudes to my golf partner

DEAR DEIDRE: I OPENED my wife’s laptop to find naked photos of her with my golfing buddy.

We are both 48 and she’s always been a housewife until our children flew the nest.

I was horrified to find a photograph of my wife in lacy underwear, in an email addressed to my mate
1
I was horrified to find a photograph of my wife in lacy underwear, in an email addressed to my mate

For more advice from Dear Deidre

No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.

This guy is my regular golf mate. He’s got a building company and said he needed help with the books.

My wife did some bookkeeping back in the day, so I suggested she help him out.

He’s 50 and divorced with grown-up sons.

She started working for him when we came out of lockdown and, as well as doing his books, answered the phone in a unit he rented.

I noticed that after a couple of weeks in her new job, she began to change her image — going to the gym and buying sexy underwear, which she had never done before.

She was getting up more than an hour earlier than before to get ready for work, buying new outfits, taking care of her make-up, even changing her hairdresser to a trendier one.

I started to worry she was hiding something from me.

So when she nipped out to the shop one Saturday morning and left her laptop unlocked, I seized my chance. She had left tabs open and I couldn’t resist having a look.

I was horrified to find a photograph of my wife in lacy underwear, in an email addressed to my mate.

After delving into their conversations, I found plenty more revealing images they had obviously taken of each other.

I took some photographs then hid away in my shed for the rest of the afternoon.

When she called me in for dinner, I told her I wasn’t hungry. She looked concerned.

I then said: “Come here a minute. Look at these.” I opened my phone and showed her the photographs. She was mortified.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to [email protected]

You can also send a private message on the  Facebook page.

She said: “OK, so now you know. But it means nothing. I promise you it’s over from now.”

But I don’t trust her. She still works for him and they are friends on social media.

DEIDRE SAYS: Explain to her how worried you are about your marriage and that her affair has been a game-changer.

Perhaps she will now work from home, or look for work elsewhere, if she is committed to you.

Think about your relationship together. What has this guy given her that you have not? Were you taking one another for granted? Is your sex life flagging?

READ MORE SUN STORIES

What can you change to improve things for you both? It is wrong to cheat and if things felt stale for her, she should have said.

My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? shows how to rebuild the trust.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My family think I have the perfect husband - but they don't know he beats me

READ DEIDRE'S STORIES Abi enjoyed watching porn more than she expected

GET IN TOUCH How the page works and how to contact us

Topics