I have finally found a woman after five long years and I’m scared I won’t last in bed
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been through a dry patch of five long years, during which I’ve not had a one-night stand, a fling – let alone a relationship.
Now I’ve met a fantastic woman but I’m concerned I’m going to be on my own again soon, as I can’t last beyond two minutes in bed.
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Even the condoms meant to delay things don’t make any difference.
It’s embarrassing. I’m 43 and she’s 36.
So far she has been really understanding but it’s becoming a bit of a habit.
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With previous partners I managed to go for 15 to 20 minutes but now it’s all over in the blink of an eye.
Help. It’s starting to really affect my confidence.
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DEIDRE SAYS: As you didn’t have premature ejaculation issues before, it would make sense that this situation has come about because you spent so long single.
With a new partner, the build-up of sexual excitement has resulted in you climaxing quickly.
But take comfort – the average man lasts for five minutes of penetrative sex, so your 20 minutes was a marathon.
Try having sex again soon after you have reached orgasm. You will find you last slightly longer.
Keep trying this so your confidence builds up and you will break this cycle of anxiety and premature ejaculation.
I am sending you my support pack Want To Last Longer, which offers plenty of other self-help techniques.