Boyfriend won’t put me in his will after messy divorce with his ex-wife
DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend and I live in a lovely home, get on with each other’s children – we have two each from our first marriages – and we never quarrel . . . except about his commitment to me.
We have been together for 18 years and lived together for 15 after I moved out of the home I shared with my ex-husband.
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I’m 54 and my boyfriend is 57.
It’s not that I think he has a wandering eye or worry I’ll lose him.
He is loving, attentive and always giving me thoughtful surprises.
However, I really want to get married and make no secret of that but he has always refused.
He blames the messy divorce from his first wife. He won’t even write me into his will.
I have ploughed a lot of money into our home but he is the sole owner of the property.
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His refusal to leave me anything makes me feel vulnerable and worried for my future.
He says he must look after his children first.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Can you explain why you feel this is so important? Is it that you will have no financial security if anything happens to him?
Does he understand the law? Maybe ask to spell out your situation.
If not marriage, would he consider a civil partnership? That way you can get some financial and legal protection without actually marrying.
Or might he consider altering his will so his children benefit from his estate once you die?