The menopause has made my wife irritable and unaffectionate
DEAR DEIDRE: THE menopause has turned my wife into an extremely unpleasant person.
Her patience seems to have gone out the window, and I’m lucky if I get a grunt as a response in conversation.
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Most days she’ll leave the house without a word, as if I’ve already done something to wind her up by 8am.
And our sex life is bascially non-existent. Every time we try, she says it’s “uncomfortable,” before rolling over and going to sleep.
Now I’m lucky if I get a kiss and a cuddle once a week. The lack of intimacy is really affecting how close and connected I feel to her.
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She used to be such a loving and warm person, with a great sense of humour. That’s what drew me to her when we met at work 20 years ago.
She didn’t mind making a fool of herself, as long as other people were laughing. She’s 57, I’m 59.
How can I help her? And how can we get back to the loving couple that we once were?
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DEIDRE SAYS: For some, the menopause can involve both physical and psychological changes. My support pack on Menopause explains.
Her lack of sex drive may be due to a drop in oestrogen levels and her discomfort due to vaginal dryness. Using a lubricant will help.
If she is struggling with her mood, suggest she talks to her GP. But the best thing you can do is talk to your wife about how she is feeling.