I thought my parents had the perfect marriage until I discovered my dad’s affair
DEAR DEIDRE: I THOUGHT my parents had the perfect marriage until I discovered my dad’s affair.
I’m a lad of 17, Mum is 45 and Dad is 51. I wanted a relationship like theirs, always cuddling and joking.
She often works away and Dad has been coming home late each night.
Yesterday at breakfast he was attached to his phone.
When he went to get dressed, a notification came through from this “Kristy” he works with. I nearly choked when I read: “Can’t wait for your sugar tonight.”
For more advice from Dear Deidre
No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.
I know I shouldn’t have but I went into his phone – his pass codes are always my birth date – and from the numerous messages, it was crystal clear they are having a sexual affair.
I can’t look at him. Do I confront him? Do I tell Mum? Or keep it to myself?
DEIDRE SAYS: While you shouldn’t have gone into your dad’s phone – and of course, you can’t really know what is going on between your parents – you can’t unsee the messages.
Knowing your dad is having an affair will be hugely damaging.
Tell him what you saw and ask him to finish his affair and focus on his marriage. If he can’t do that, he needs to come clean.
Talking to someone removed from the situation will help you. SupportLine (, 01708 765 200) provides confidential support.