My wife and child are moving back to New Zealand – with or without me
DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife is from New Zealand and wants to move back there, but I want to stay in the UK.
I’m 32 and she’s 30. We’ve been together for five years and she was happy here until we had a baby.
Now she says she is homesick and needs her parents and friends around to help with our daughter.
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My chances of getting a good job out there are tiny. She says I should just take any job but I don’t want to give up my career in accountancy.
I know no one in New Zealand and have only been there once.
She says she’ll go with or without me. I love my wife and my daughter but we’re arguing all the time.
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How can I convince my wife to stay here with me?
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DEIDRE SAYS: You need to talk to her again. Ask her if she will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of moving, and perhaps consider a compromise – a temporary move.
You could rent out your home and give moving a two-year trial.
Visit her home city and research jobs before making a decision. You both need to be willing to try for the other or you will remain “stuck”.
Marriage counselling would help you move forward. My support pack on counselling explains more.