My boyfriend uses weed to escape his trauma and it’s affecting our sex life
DEAR DEIDRE: I NO longer have sex with my partner because he was abused by an older boy when he was at boarding school.
Now he says getting intimate makes him feel dirty.
He also smokes so much weed that it has given him different personalities.
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Sometimes he’s loving and happy, often he’s moody but most of the time he ignores me. He used to ring me from work but now he never does.
He hardly touches me or tells me I look nice.
He never smiles when we go out with family or friends. My family think he’s miserable. It’s embarrassing.
He’s 31, while I’m 28.
We live as if he is the lodger and if we communicate these days, we argue.
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DEIDRE SAYS: His use of drugs is his way of escaping.
This might have happened some years ago but the effects of child abuse can be far-reaching.
Explain you are worried about him because cannabis is changing his personality and this is affecting your relationship.
Encourage him to get some emotional support through the National Association for People Abused In Childhood (, 0808 801 0331).
Once he starts talking about what he went through, you might find he is less reliant on drugs.