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TAKE BACK CONTROL

My controlling husband is putting a strain on our marriage – do I walk away?

DEAR DEIDRE: HOW can I make my controlling husband see that my having a job and friends would not ruin our marriage – and would make me so much happier?

I am 34 and had a violent first marriage. I finally walked away and met my new man six years ago.

My controlling husband thinks our marriage will be ruined by me having a job and friends
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My controlling husband thinks our marriage will be ruined by me having a job and friends

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He is 36 and at first seemed kind and caring. But now I am not so sure.

I wanted to open my own business but he wouldn’t let me go on social media or even set up a website.

I have three children, two from my marriage, who are all looked after well, as is he.

They have friends over and I wish I could too.

He sits on the computer every evening and ignores me.

He just wants a cook and a bottle-washer.

Our relationship is so strained now and we rarely make love. What can I do?

DEIDRE SAYS: He is not going to miraculously change.

You escaped a violent marriage once before and you are now in an emotionally abusive marriage.

Your life is again being controlled by someone else.

You have to decide that enough is enough and take back control over your life.

Maybe you fear or know that if you stand up to him he will turn nasty?

If so, that is even more reason not to stay and risk passing on this terrible role-model of adult relationships to your children.

My support pack Abusive Partner? will help you find the courage to tackle this.

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