How can I convince my daughter to ditch her lazy and controlling partner?

DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter’s partner is lazy, selfish and controlling. They’re both in their thirties and have a little girl of seven.

My daughter is the main breadwinner and also the homemaker. Her partner just lounges around and drinks.

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They argue non-stop and she often tells him to leave.

But she always takes him back a few days later after he has apologised.This has gone on for years.

I am the only person she confides in but I can’t stand it any longer and I told her this.

I feel guilty but is this the right approach?

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DEIDRE SAYS: I can well understand how painful and frustrating it is to see your daughter endlessly take back a man you think is a waste of space.

But please don’t stop being her shoulder to cry on. She needs you to offload on – but you can lessen your frustration if you accept that you can only sympathise, not resolve the situation.

My e-leaflet When Parents Don’t Get On will help her understand how damaging this relationship is for her daughter. That might give her the impetus to end it.

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