I’m going to be a dad after having wild sex with a stranger at a party
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD drunken sex with a girl I vaguely know. Now she has shown up on my doorstep waving a positive pregnancy test at me.
I’m a guy of 24. We met in a pub garden. She is a friend of my mate’s sister.
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It was his 30th birthday so there was a crowd. It was good fun and there were plenty of people to give the night a bit of atmosphere outside, with music playing.
This girl caught my eye. She was pretty, chatty and looked amazing in a low-cut dress that hugged her figure.
She told me she was 22, with a boy aged five and a daughter of three who live with their gran.
We had a few drinks together, then a dance. When people started heading off, I told her I’d walk her home.
She lives not far from me in a bedsit and invited me in. We kissed when we got inside the door, then I pulled up her dress to see her incredible body.
We had wild sex. I was going to use protection but she told me she was taking the Pill so I had no need to worry about her getting pregnant.
I thought it was a fun one-off, so I was shocked when she turned up at my parents’ house this week with the pregnancy test.
Please don’t lecture me about using protection — my parents have already done that — but she’s not reliable.
She told me: “It’s probably yours but I did have sex with another guy two nights after you.
“I don’t want anything from you, though. I just thought you needed to know.”
She is set on keeping the baby, which I accept, but I don’t want to be a weekend dad.
I always saw myself having a proper relationship and family when the time was right.
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DEIDRE SAYS: If this woman’s two children live with her mother, it suggests she has not managed to provide them with a loving and stable home. How realistic is it for her to think she will manage better this time?
The decision to keep the baby or not must be hers, but have a serious talk with her.
Ask if she is really ready for the practical implications of going ahead with the pregnancy.
She is living in a bedsit. Is that a suitable home for a child? Be kind, as I doubt she is happy and might have a troubled past.
My e-leaflet on Unplanned Pregnancy explains sources of support.
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If she does go ahead with the pregnancy, DNA tests will prove who the father is.
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If that is yourself, you will be legally liable to help maintain your child and I hope your parents will back you up in being a loving and involved father. It sounds like that would be extra-essential.
And please avoid any casual sex while the virus is very much around.
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