My wife has been having sex with other men and she mocks my manhood
DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife has been having sex with other men.
She mocks the size of my manhood and says I’m rubbish in bed. I feel so low.
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We have been together for 15 years. Within months of our wedding she was off having sex with another man.
I stupidly forgave her. She went on to sleep with my best mate too. I was devastated.
She didn’t care that I was upset, so I had sex with a girl I met in a club. My wife found out and she went mad.
I’m now 37, she is 35 and we have three children aged six, ten and 12.
I went away to work in the Middle East four years ago for six months.
When I came home she said she’d been having sex with other men and she didn’t want to have sex with me.
When I tried to cuddle her, she would leap away from me as if she had touched a hot flame.
She would laugh at my wedding tackle and tell me that the other men were much bigger and better than me.
If we did have sex, she would push me off her right in the middle of doing it.
Now it’s like our roles have reversed. She wants to control everything and wants sex all the time.
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I’m the quiet one and when she says, “Jump”, I ask, “How high?”
We had a register office wedding with some witnesses from the street, as she wanted that.
Now, she wants a “lush wedding” despite us being already married.
When I said I didn’t want another wedding, she said: “When this Covid thing is over, I’m divorcing you and finding somebody who can give me the wedding of my dreams.”
I don’t want to waste money on another wedding, but I’ve been trying to find a clinic to help me increase my penis size as this may improve things.
When we are alone, I feel humiliated about what she says to me, but I feel I should stay with her for the children’s sake. She’s a good mum but not a good role model for our kids.
DEIDRE SAYS: No one should stay in a miserable marriage just for the sake of the children as an unhappy home is damaging for them but, as a loving dad, you do owe it to them to at least try to sort out this mess.
Your wife may be the one doing most of the cheating and making cruel comments but she doesn’t sound happy either.
She throws cruel jibes at you but it doesn’t sound like you two have talked about how you are feeling underneath.
Why does she want another wedding and what does it symbolise?
I get the feeling she wants your relationship to work too but first you both need to do some difficult talking.
Couple counselling could help you – see relate.org.uk and tavistockrelationships.org.
Increasing your penis size is unlikely to improve your sex life but my e-leaflet on Thrilling A Woman In Bed could help you reassure yourself you’re not lacking technique.
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