My son’s mother lied to me and now I don’t feel I can trust her
DEAR DEIDRE: MY son’s mother lied to me over something stupid recently and now I don’t feel I can trust her.
All through my twenties I was in a relationship that became toxic, with my ex cheating on me and telling endless lies.
I am 35 now, have been with my new partner for three years and our little boy is 18 months old. My partner is 31.
We have been going strong but she lied when I asked whether she’d seen an ex-boyfriend recently – I’d seen them chatting in the street as I drove past.
She said no and only confessed when I said I could show her a photo of them together.
She said she’d lied to protect my feelings but it’s brought back bad memories. How can I move on from this?
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DEIDRE SAYS: You set a trap because of your own insecurity.
Your partner probably suspected you would cross-examine her if she said she’d seen her ex. She was in a no-win situation.
Write a list of the ways in which your partner is different from your ex.
Read it every morning and evening.
If you feel anxious, ask her for a hug and resist any temptation to question her.
My e-leaflet, Dealing With Jealousy, will help.