I’ve been having crazy and passionate sex with a woman I delivered meat to
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD crazy, passionate sex with a woman I delivered meat to – but I destroyed my marriage in the process.
I’m a man of 39 and I manage a butcher’s shop. My wife is 33 and a teacher. Nothing could rock our world until I met a new customer, a gorgeous woman of 28.
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She was newly married and had just moved to the area. She was friendly and placed a regular order with us. We started doing deliveries during lockdown so I went out to her place.
Her husband is a doctor and he was working each time I called. After lots of chatting on the doorstep over a few weeks she invited me in for a drink.
She put the kettle on and then said, “Oh, sorry, is it too early for something stronger?” I said, “No, why not?”
So she opened some wine. She looked so beautiful and as the conversation and the drink flowed so did my confidence.
She said her marriage wasn’t good. She started to cry so I put my arm around her and then I pulled her chin up to kiss her. She responded and then said, “Make love to me”.
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We went up to her room where I had the most fantastic sex I’d ever experienced. That was it. Our secret trysts were on and I called around twice a week for more sex.
One evening I drove home, walked in on my wife and said it wasn’t working. I left her with no explanation. Cruel, I know.
We lived separately for a while and she knew nothing of my lover. Things didn’t work out in my affair — my lover became too needy so I stopped seeing her.
But my wife had started dating another guy. I was upset but said nothing as I knew I had no right.
My wife then agreed to see me a bit more. She said she was “making no promises” but I was over the moon. Then she said she wouldn’t see me any more and I was devastated.
It turned out she had found an old mobile phone of mine with messages on it from my ex-lover.
I sent my wife flowers and a card on her birthday and a long letter saying what a fool I had been, but I don’t think she will ever have me back.
I love her. I always have done. What can I do now?
DEIDRE SAYS: You have treated her so badly, including risking passing on Covid-19, so it may take some grovelling for her to believe you are truly sorry – and it may simply be too late.
She has ignored your pleas so far but tell her you made a massive mistake. Explain that you know she didn’t deserve this treatment and losing her put things in perspective – she’s the only one for you now.
Focus your energy on doing what you can to show her your relationship is your number one priority now.
My e-leaflet Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help you know how to go about putting things right.
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