I can’t choose between my fiancee and my incredibly hot Facebook fling
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been having wild sex with a woman I met via Facebook during a break in my relationship with my fiancee. I love them both.
I am 29 and my fiancee is 27. We have been together for five years and have a baby daughter. I love my fiancee but we row a lot these days.
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We were on a break three months ago when I got a Facebook friend request from a friend of a friend — a girl. I accepted and we started chatting.
Then we met up in person but I didn’t let on about my fiancee or daughter. This new girl is smart and funny. I really fancy her.
She’s 26. We had a few good evenings together then started having sex. It was awesome, though I knew deep down what I was doing was wrong.
I thought it would just be a fling but it turned into a proper affair. We had some great times.
I went back to stay with my fiancee last month because it was coming up to my daughter’s first birthday and I wanted to be there.
I tried to keep seeing my new girl but it got so difficult I had to own up and tell her the truth.
She was very upset and stormed off. I felt really guilty for hurting her.
I have tried to work things out with my fiancee. She is glad to have me back and so is my daughter. She doesn’t suspect a thing and assumes I have been on my own while we were apart.
I saw my lover a few days ago, intending to tell her we must end it.
But all the feelings I had for her came back as soon as I saw her and we ended up in bed together again.
I know I can’t have my cake and eat it but I just can’t get this girl out of my head.
I feel like I am going crazy being in love with both women.
topic4today
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In fact, you talk – usually as a couple, maybe online – with someone understanding who has helpful suggestions.
Over 90 per cent of couples who saw a Relate sex therapist found it helped.
DEIDRE SAYS: I cannot make the choice on your behalf but you will not sort anything out by going between the two women, which also risks passing on Covid-19.
You might have amazing sex with your new lover but you have no idea whether that relationship will last. Tell her you need to get your head straight and go on a break.
Tell your fiancee you two need to sort out your relationship one way or the other, if only for the sake of your little daughter.
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Early parenthood does put pressure on a relationship. It will help to follow OnePlusOne’s online guide for new parents: Me, You And Baby Too ().
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If you decide your relationship is hopeless, then end it honestly and you will be free to see if you and the new girl share more than awesome sex.
You can still be a loving and caring dad to your daughter as she grows up.
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