I chose my best girl pal over a guy I liked but I think she emotionally blackmailed me
DEAR DEIDRE: I CHOSE my friendship with my best girl pal over a guy I liked because she objected to him but I now feel she emotionally blackmailed me.
I am 29, split with a long-term partner four years ago and have not met anyone really right since.
Last year I went travelling with my single friend and we both had fun with different men.
She is 31 and was difficult at times, throwing tantrums if things didn’t go her way.
It was OK if she went off with a guy but if I did, we fell out.
After the holiday a guy she’d had a one-night stand with texted me to say he liked me.
We went on a date, I told her and she went ballistic.
She said if I carried on seeing him our friendship was over.
I didn’t want to lose her as a friend so I stopped contact with the guy.
I now really wish I’d given him a chance.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Good friends don’t put conditions on the friendship.
Unless you begin to stand up to her your friendship is going to feel like a miserable burden.
Contact the guy and see if he’s still keen.
In future, trust your own judgements rather than seeking anyone else’s approval.
My e-leaflet Standing Up For Yourself will help you.