Should I stick with my nice guy boyfriend or give my bad boy ex another chance?
DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE a great relationship with my new boyfriend – and the sex is better than I thought was possible. But my ex wants me back and I’m not sure what to do.
I’m a woman of 22 and was going out with my ex for three years. He’s 31 and we were part of a big social group that would meet up on Thursday nights in my local for bar games and a drink.
Get in touch with Deidre today
My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.
Send an email to [email protected].
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter
I never thought he’d be interested in me, as he’s not just older but very confident and outgoing. We started dating, though, and everything seemed great.
But out of the blue he ended things with me, early this year, saying he couldn’t make me happy any longer. I was gutted.
I was naive and had still sex with him whenever he wanted. It almost felt like we hadn’t broken up, though he never stuck around to chat once the sex was over.
I came to my senses before lockdown and that was a good excuse for it to all stop and for me to be in control. I began to feel happy again and met another guy online. There was plenty of flirting and sexy messages, then the rules were relaxed and we could meet for a walk. He’s 25 and lovely.
topic4today
ONE in six pregnancies in this country is unplanned.
My Guide To Contraception e-leaflet explains how to help make every child a wanted child. Contact me for a copy.
- Email me at [email protected] or private-message me via my Facebook page.
We decided to take things a step further. He lives alone, so I am his new “social bubble” and the sex with him is the best I have ever experienced. I’ve felt so good about our relationship and about myself too.
But just last week, my ex made contact saying he has changed and he wants me back.
I must say I feel a real draw to go back to him. He still holds a strong place in my heart. But the new guy is nearer my own age and we have so much in common.
Should I stick with him or give my ex — who is part of my group of friends, after all — a second chance?
Most read in Dear Deidre
DEIDRE SAYS: Our first loves are often special and if this ex was your first serious relationship, it is only understandable you feel torn.
But he has not treated you well. He should never have ended your relationship then used you for his booty call. You deserved much better than that and it shows an unpleasant side to his character.
He is clearly self-centred. It is not easy for somebody to change, so it would be interesting to know why he feels he has more to give you now.
You run the risk of getting back into that same cycle if you take him back. Who is to say he wouldn’t do the same thing to you again?
You have changed a lot since your teens, so you might now want different things. Your new boyfriend has more in common with you and the sex is the best ever – maybe because he is a less selfish lover than your ex.
What’s not to like? He can get to know your group of friends. Your ex had his chance with you and blew it.
NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My wife says she loves me . . . but she doesn’t love my penis
READ DEIDRE'S CLASSIC PHOTO CASEBOOK Penny’s ex has heard about her baby and wants to know if it’s his
GOT a story? RING The Sun on 0207 782 4104 or WHATSAPP on 07423720250 or EMAIL [email protected]