I don’t like the hold my girlfriend’s ex-husband still has over her
DEAR DEIDRE: I DON’T like the hold my girlfriend’s ex-husband still seems to have over her.
They had an abusive marriage but she got away from him five years ago. I’ve been seeing her for about six months and she talks a lot about him. When I said I was worried she still loved him, she said: “That couldn’t be further from the truth.” She told me how abusive he was.
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Her son soon turns 21 and her ex is holding a family party for them all. Both her kids are fine with it but my girlfriend is stressed over it all. She says she’ll go to keep the peace.
I’m 45 and she’s 43. I’ve told her to insist her son has his party elsewhere but she doesn’t want trouble.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend wants to go along to show a united front for her son, not through loyalty to this ex of hers.
For the young man’s sake, you might have to accept that. But ask her to follow the Freedom Programme to be sure she is making that choice for the right reasons and not because she still feels cowed (). She can do it online. And suggest something good the two of you can do after the party to reaffirm your bond.
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